The art of speaking like a Kiwi

After being in a confined space with half a plane load of the critters I think I've mastered the art of translating Kiwi into normal English. The golden rule seems to be: if in doubt replace the first vowel of every word with an 'i' sound (except 'o's for some reason). For example, a moment ago I thought I was about to get lucky with an air stewardess who asked me if I wanted a 'hid sit'. I winked at her and flashed my dimples to which she looked decided non-plussed and thrust a pair of headphones into my hands. Ah well, ne'mind, at least my theory is holding up, try 'camper van', 'sceptic tank', 'test match'... anything that should be proceeded with the word 'pass' amuses me, try 'passport' using the new formula. To be fair though the English do likewise at times, how about 'pretty'.